Cowboys

“The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.”


The story begins in 1986 when Mr. G. Fentiman started a perfectly respectable business, D&H Animal Husbandry.  According to the Oxford Dictionary, “animal husbandry” is the science of breeding and caring for farm animals, and Mr Fentiman sold everything from cattle grids to wellington boots. His speciality however was herbal and homeopathic horse medication.

Mr F was not above a little husbandry himself, and in course of time produced three strapping sons to take the business over when he finally “bought the farm.”  Unfortunately, the lads were too ambitious to be shackled to such a mundane trade, so in about 2007 they set out like the three little pigs to seek their fortune.

They didn’t go far…about as far as Aisle G in dad’s warehouse. There they set out to rip off the NHS and have been remarkably successful. The oldest son Daniel, after a minor disagreement with his brothers about business ethics, returned to D&H to make an honest living, leaving Managing Director Warrick (AKA Rick) and marketing manager Mark to share the spoils between them. And there they are to this day…

Here is the warehouse...

warehouse

There are no signs visible from the road for either company, and their fleet of vehicles are unmarked. The building is approximately 80% D&H Animal Husbandry, 20% Specialist Hygiene Solutions. D&H is the original family business, but compared to Hygiene Solutions its profit margins are just chicken feed.

d-and-h-1
d-and-h-2

The two business work closely together – even sharing the same distinctive style of promotional blurb. Did the 1000 cow dairy unit really say that I wonder?  Were all the cows unanimous??

aisle-g-1

Deprox and their ilk…Deprox machines and accessories, and pallets of Deproxin are mostly in aisle G.  Aisles A to F are agricultural. Clearly this is what is meant by the July 2016 Lynn News article. Since starting in 2007, Hygiene Solutions, based in Hamlin Way, Hardwick Narrows Estate, now has dedicated premises for production, service, stock and customer service”

Here is another view of Dedicated Aisle G. I have added some notes for the non-technical reader.

aisle-g-2

  1. Deprox machines
  2. RangerLick Cattle Plus Mineral Buckets
  3. Deprox vent cap accessory
  4. Deprox vent cap accessory telescopic poles
  5. Stepladders for short Deprox operators
  6. Mix of crumpled polythene, brown paper and sticky tape
  7. Pallets of Deproxin

The obvious conclusion is that Hygiene Solutions is literally a cowboy outfit….

But there are more strange things to be found at the far end of the warehouse. Hiding behind the packing bench, a pair of Bioquell Q10 machines. I have no idea what these are for, but Bioquell might do well to check their patent protection is up to date…

bioquell

cp2

Dropbox video download

As for the “We now operate in 16 countries worldwide” this has proved hard to “validate”. They definitely have agents in Switzerland, Sydney and Auckland NZ, but their USA office is fictional.  Searching the address of their USA office on Google Street View takes us to the detached premises of Belair Instrument Company, whose charming receptionist Amanda assures me that Specialist Hygiene Solutions is not on their premises, never has been, and she has never heard of them.  Calling the “USA 24 hour Emergency Hotline” eventually got me through to a very English, rather weary sounding young lady who eventually admitted that she was in Suffolk. No, she didn’t know if they offered decontamination services in the USA and Canada. She asked her supervisor. The supervisor didn’t know – could they have someone call me back in an hour?

Rogues Gallery

Here is Danny (the honest one) demonstrating the world’s smallest septic tank. If you want to see the rest of them, they are on LinkedIn.

capture

(Image courtesy of dandhdirect.com)

This is Rick’s LinkedIn profile.

This is Mark’s LinkedIn profile

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